Christmas Movies That Don’t Suck: A Very Brady Christmas

EDITOR’S NOTE: To celebrate Christmas 2013, I’m offering a list of the only Christmas movies worth watching. I recognize that there are some movies that you may like (Elf) and I don’t (Elf). That’s just the way it is. Check out last year’s Christmas Songs That Don’t Suck.

Okay, so A Very Brady Christmas sucks. It’s terrible. Rancid. The story is contrived, not unlike the rest of the series. The acting is an atrocity. Even the sets looked cheap. But, if you spent your weekday afternoons waiting the TBS rerun to start at 4:35 p.m., this movie is likely on your list of guilty pleasures.

The worst part? Florence Henderson, who apparently became a baritone after menopause:

It’s becoming harder and harder to find this gem. ABC Family holds the rights and typically buries it to a very DVRable one-time midnight showing during the holidays. Of all the things wrong with this movie, and there are quite a few, the worst thing was that it convinced the geniuses at CBS to launch a Friday evening drama called The Bradys. This is the series that saw:

  • Bobby Brady become a race-car driver, get paralyzed in a wreck and marry Martha Quinn
  • Mike run for city council
  • Marcia become an alcoholic
  • And Jan adopt a Korean baby

It lasted six episodes. No one knows why.

Below is the movie, in its full 86-minute glory:

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